Naruto the Abridged Manga Parody
by RegisteredAccount
Summary: This is a fan-based manga parody. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release.
1. MOO-ZUMAKI NO JUTSU!

Well, I've finally decided to start an abridged-parody of Naruto. Simple; a funny abridged version of Naruto. Heh-heh, I'm totally looking forward to this.

This is a fan-based parody. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release.

* * *

**Naruto the Abridged Manga Parody  
**by **RegisteredAccount**

**Chapter 1:** MOO-ZUMAKI NO JUTSU~!

* * *

_Once appeared a nine-tailed demon fox. Its mighty tails could create ice-creams and cause randomly naked girls to disappear. To take pictures with not-yet-existing cameras of this demon, the people assembled all the Shinibis from the village. From far away in a 'restaurant', one lazy Shinobi was able to successfully consume five ramen bowls in half an hour but because of that he lost his wallet._

**_That Shinobi was called the 4th Hokage._**

* * *

In a peaceful ninja village, there was a huge rocky ninja wall with ninja faces on them. Around four, I guess. Oh wait, there's one spiky yellow-haired ninja on the walls.

"Wha ha ha ha!" he laughed.

Somewhere else, in a weird ninja place, two ninja sensei ran to this leader called Hokage.

"Bobage-sama!" they exclaimed.

The Hokage looked behind with an unenthusiastic look. "What? Is it my Secret Ninja P*rn-Watching Time?" he asked.

"That's right, Bobage-sama!" the first ninja guy exclaimed. The second one smacked him. "I mean, no, Bobage-sama! Naruto is painting ninja vanilla onto the ninja stone face walls!" he exclaimed. Then he wondered something. _The Bobage-sama watches p*rn?_

The Hokage sighed. "... And for the record, I'm 'Hokage', not 'Bobage'."

Back to the village, Naruto laughed like an idiot while a bunch of people were complimenting him. "Congratulations, Naruto! You're so awesome!"

"Vandalising the ninja monuments like that! You must be so awesome!"

"Like Spiderman!'

"What the hell does Spiderman has anything to do with this!?"

"Everything! Believe it!"

"Spiderman doesn't even exist in this period yet!"

"Then how do we know who Spiderman is!?"

"Don't worry, Naruto! We'll pay for this for you!"

Naruto faced the bottom area of the ninja village, with small tiny ants cheering him... which were actually people. "Thank you, guys! For cheering me, I shall give you some sexy chocolate ice creams!"

"WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH YOU NARUTO!?" a sensei from the bottom area of the ground named Iruka yelled loudly, the Hokage watching with interest. "Get down here, you moron! It's time for your spanking, remember!?"

"Oh no! It's Godzilla!" the mischievous ninja boy screamed.

"No, it's me, Iruka."

"Oh no! It's Iruka sensei!" the mischievous ninja boy screamed.

Seconds later, he was tied with ninja rope in the ninja class. A bunch of other ninjas in the ninja class were looking at him curiously.

"Tomorrow is the Shinobi Academy's Graduation Exam, and the last two times you failed it! Now's not the time to be painting the ninja monuments with sexy ninja vanilla!" Iruka scolded the yellow-haired ninja.

"Don't worry, sensei. I still have more vanilla." Naruto replied, not getting the hint of anger coming from his ninja teacher.

"TIME FOR A HENGE NO JUTSU TEST! EVERYONE MUST TRANSFORM PERFECTLY INTO ME!"

"Eh~?" everyone asked with shock.

When it was Naruto's turn, he transformed into a naked ninja girl.

Everyone nosebleeded and soon the whole room was filled with blood.

"Wow! Ninja blood!" some cheered.

Eventually it dried up for no reason and Iruka scolded his yellow-haired student again.

"I call it the Sexy no Jutsu!"

"DON'T INVENT DUMB TECHNIQUES!"

After class, Naruto was punished to clean all the ninja vanilla from the ninja monuments.

"Finish this or I won't give you my fake Yu-Gi-Oh cards!" his teacher (Iruka) said.

"Like I care! Those cards get stolen by a cat from me everyday, anyways... Bleh." Naruto retorted.

"Then how about some p*rn-star pictured cards?" the teacher asked, obviously not having one of those kinds of cards. He just wanted it to be cleaned already.

"Deal!"

At the ninja ramen shop... "Naruto, why are we at the ninja ramen shop again?"

"Well," the ninja paused, "it's how it goes in the manga!"

"Manga? What manga?"

"I dunno. I just had the feeling to say that."

Both sighed.

The next day, at the classroom, everyone was excited.

"To graduate, you have to do the Bunshin no Jutsu technique. When you are called, come to my room and we can have sex later." Iruka joked.

"OH CRAP! I AM HORRIBLE AT THAT TECHNIQUE!" Naruto shouted, but no one heard him.

When he was called, he ended up duplicating a crappy version of himself. "I like crap-cream!" the clone said.

"FAIL!"

We later see him sitting on a weird ninja platform that didn't fall down, with another ninja sensei called Mizuki.

"Iruka is a very idiotic smarty pants. His ninja parents transformed into ice creams which Iruka accidentally ate when he was young, so he had to suffer the pain of trying to shit them out of his butt every day."

Naruto spat onto someone's ninja head far below. "But why does he always have to pick on me?"

"That doesn't matter." Mizuki said. "If you want to become better, then believe in the ninja me who believes in the ninja you and listen to the ninja secret I'm about to tell you!"

At evening, Naruto was sneaking into the Hokage's ninja house.

The Hokage, however, was behind him. "Oh, Naruto! You must be the ninja delivery guy sent to deliver those ninja p*rn videos I ordered!"

"SEXY NO JUTSU!"

Ninja polices soon came out from nowhere to investigate this 'murder' ninja scene.

Naruto searched for ninja scrolls and soon found one he was looking for. Oh no! He's taking it! Go for it, Naruto!

Heh-heh.

From far away, however, Mizuki was watching him.

Grinning.

Smuggling.

Smiling in a nasty way.

Whatever.

Iruka, who was lying on his ninja bed, thought about what the Hokage had said to him. The Hokage had called him to have a talk with him, but obviously I didn't show that. Then he began thinking of the days when he was just a child who was a pervert. Not.

"FLASHBACK NO JUTSU~!" a random voice shouted.

_It was dark, and a nine-tailed fox was being fought by many other ninjas. Iruka, as a child, was in a dangerous area near the fox so some ninjas took him away. "Let me go! My mom and dad transformed into ice creams and I haven't eaten them by accident yet!" he shouted._

_The ninjas let him go and he quickly went to eat the ice cream._

_After finishing, a ninja got angry and shouted, "Iruka! That was your parents!"_

_"GASP! NOOOOOO!"_

"END OF FLASHBACK NO JUTSU~!"

He snapped out of his thoughts as he heard ninja knocks on the ninja door. As he walked to the ninja door, the mysterious voice gasped. "Bewarned, Iruka! Out there be monsters!"

"Since when was I in deviantART?" the ninja teacher asked. He opened the ninja door. "What is it, Mizuki-"

"Naruto has turned into a naked girl and stole the Scroll of the Forbidden Meal as a prank!"

Iruka gasped. Then paused. "... Forbidden Meal? That sounds awesome!"

They disappeared together and arrived at some kind of meeting place where a bunch of ninjas and the revived Hokage (with nose-plugs) stood. "We must find Naruto! Hurry!"

They all said 'SIR YES SIR DE ARIMASU!' and disappeared again.

Moments later, Iruka found Naruto in the forest. "NARUTO! I'VE FOUND YOU! NOW YOU'RE 'IT'!" he exclaimed.

"What the f*ck? Since when were we playing Hide'n'Seek?"

"I dunno."

Silence.

"NoW GIVE ME THAT SCROLL! IT IS VERY DANGEROUS!"

"Why are your speeches all capitalized?"

"JUST GIVE THEM TO ME!"

Silence again.

"Hey... you look very beaten up! What did you do here?" Iruka asked the ninja.

"Well, first I tried to smoke it but it burned up so I was also burning. Then I decided to put the fire out myself, which ended up burning my whole self, but I quickly used FanFiction logic to switch spirits with another Naruto from a random FanFiction, burning that Naruto instead. Then, since the scroll was already burned, I took the new same scroll from the Naruto I just killed."

Iruka remained speechless.

"Naruto, I've finally found you!"

The two looked up towards a ninja tree to see Mizuki.

"Mizuki senpai! I really got the scroll, see?"

"WHAT!?" Iruka exclaimed. _If Mizuki set this up, then... CRAP!_ "RUN!" he pushed Naruto aside. Mizuki threw ninja daggers meant for Naruto, but they stabbed Iruka instead. "Oh no! My precious beautiful ninja body!"

"NOOOOO! IRUKA SENSEI! NOOOOO!"

"I'm not dead yet, Naruto." he reassured the yellow-haired ninja.

"You shall pay for this, Mizuki baka!" Naruto exclaimed and started cloning himself to millions using his new learned ninja technique; the Shadow Clone Jutsu! (Or simply known as Kage Bunshin no Jutsu).

"Hey! Not fair!" Mizuki complained.

"Not fair my ass, I have heart attack!" Naruto retorted and started beating the ninja sh*t out of Nizuki. Soon he was just a worthless pile of ninja trash.

"Thank you, Naruto."

Naruto bowed down in respect to Iruka, then stole that ninja headband thingy his teacher was wearing.

"NARUTO! GIVE THAT BACK!"

* * *

We are Fighting Ice-Creams, always aiming high together  
Fighting Ice-Creams, don't care what people think about them  
Fighting Ice-Creams, follow what they believe, so  
Oli Oli Oli Oh~ Just go my way~

Right here, right now (Slurp!)  
Lick it up like a hungry dog!  
Right here, right now (Sniff!)  
Go on a sniffing spree and steal those ice-creams!  
Right here, right now (Slurp!)  
Lick it up like a hungry dog!  
Right here, right now (Sniff!)

* * *

"Hi! My name is MOO-zumaki Naruto, and my goal is to become a f*cking Hokage! Also, I want some vanilla ice-cream now! Hey! What's taking it so long!"

**Chill, dude. We'll get you your ice-cream.**

"I love authors!"

**Oh... wait, we don't have anymore ice-cream.**

"F*CKING AUTHORS!"


	2. BRATS NO JUTSU!

This is a fan-based parody. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release.

* * *

**Naruto the Abridged Manga Parody  
**by **RegisteredAccount**

**Chapter 2:** BRATS NO JUTSU~!

* * *

_The Hidden Leaf Village..._

_Right now, a young man is going to start his life as a Shitobi..._

-:-:-:-

An old man with a high-tech camera was standing on brown ninja ground. "Hey, after I take this ninja picture of you, I better get to f*ck that ninja girl you said you'd let me do." he told Naruto, who wore a very 'normal' face.

"Yeah, yeah! Just take the ninja photo so I can get some sexy ninja vanilla ice cream already!" Naruto replied, impatient.

The old man grumbled. "Just make sure I get that ninja girl... F*cking smile now!"

_Click!_

-:-:-:-

"He he he!" Naruto laughed as the f*cking Bobage was looking at his ninja portfolio. "It's awesome, right?"

"Yes," the Bobage said, "it is so awesome I just want to eat this ninja garbage."

"How dare you!"

The Bobage remained silent.

"Hey... where's your ninja forehead protector?"

"I don't want it to be looked at in awe and amazement that I'm sure will be possible 100%!"

Suddenly, the ninja door rattled and a young weird stupid bratty definitely-not-ninja boy rushed inside, intending to kill the Bobage. "Hey gramps! Fight with me using this useless Magikarp!"

"YOU SHITTY BRAT! I WAS STILL HAVING A SERIOUS NINJA CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW RACISM IS STUPID WITH THE BOBAGE!" Naruto screamed, punching the boy named Konohamaru on the head.

"Stupid grandson, this is Naruto not Pokemon!"

The Pokeball in the boy's hands disappeared.

"NOOO! MY MAGIKARP!"

"Little master, please have s*x with me!" another ninja voice shouted and a black-suited gay-looking man with black glasses rushed into the ninja room. His name was Ebisu, but now it's Gay-Baka.

"Gay-Baka! Go get me a new Magikarp that has only the move Splash!"

"I ran out of Magikarps! And putting that asides, please make love to me!"

"You're too old to do that with my stupid bratty grandson." the Bobage said.

Naruto smiled and kicked the Gay-Baka into the sky. "Take that!" he shouted, and turned into a naked girl using his Sexy no Jutsu. "AND STAY OUT!"

Konohamaru gasped. "Oh, Master! Please teach me the ways of pervertedness!"

-:-:-:-

"Hey, Boss?" the boy asked.

"What?"

"Why are there sometimes four minus signs with three colons in between each in this fanfiction?"

Naruto shrugged. "I dunno, I guess this fanfiction just sucks."

"But... this fanfiction is abridged!"

The yellow-haired ninja stared. "... No, this is a fanfiction, not a bridge."

"WAAAAAAH!"

"Brats."

Then Naruto transformed into a naked girl. "Imitate me, bratty brat!"

"SIR YES SIR!" Konohamaru saluted, and tried to transform too. Instead, he transformed into a very sexy-looking Captain Falcon. "FALCON PAWNCH!"

Naruto dodged the punch. "A GIRL! NOT A F*CKING CAPTAIN BOY!"

"Sorry."

Konohamaru transformed again, this time into an ugly girl.

Soon after that, they went and sat on a ninja log.

"Hey, why d'you want to fight your f*cking Bobage so much?" Naruto asked.

The boy sighed. "Because two weeks ago, he used up all the ninja glue that I didn't need to glue dead ninja plants to make his ninja room more 'decorated'."

"So?"

"The ninja glue didn't do anything wrong to be glued onto fake dead ninja plants!"

Both sighed.

Suddenly, Gay-Baka appeared again.

"Damn it, Ebisu! I already kicked you away!"

"Please, have s*x with me now!"

Naruto and Konohamaru grinned. "HENGE!"

They both transformed into successful naked girls, causing Ebisu to nose-bleed a lot. But that wasn't enough.

"HAREM NO JUTSU!"

Naruto Shadow-Cloned, then all used Henge. The ninja forest was soon filled with naked Naruto girls.

"That was awesome, Boss! From now on, let's be rivals!" Konohamaru said.

The yellow ninja grinned. "Sure! Wanna go get some sexy ninja vanilla ice cream?"

"YAY!" the boy cheered.

Naruto suddenly smiled even wider. "You're still a brat, though."

"NOOOOOO!"

* * *

Sha la la~ Someday, I'll surely obtain it with my own hands  
Softly in my smoking heart, an ice cream is melting

The 'urge' of wanting to eat you, the 'awesome smell' that made me want to drool  
The vanilla that flew into the cream of ice cream that will not return

Don't say anything, just leave me with your taste  
Whilst being eatened, you smiled  
Life, to the point of tastiness, flickered

* * *

"Hey, you! Yeah, you. I'm Konohamaru, and I want to be able to finally have a Pokemon battle with my gramps using my useless and worthless Magikarp! Will ya help me?"

**You'll never win.**

"Why not?"

**Your Magikarp only has the move Splash.**

"I know! _That's_ why I'll definitely _win!_"


	3. EMO NO JUTSU!

This is a fan-based parody. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release.

* * *

**Naruto the Abridged Manga Parody  
**by **RegisteredAccount**

**Chapter 3:** EMO NO JUTSU~!

* * *

"_Yawn..._" Naruto yawned. Waking up, he got off his ninja bed and onto the ninja floor of his ninja house. He walked downstairs to a ninja table and took out some ninja milk from the refrigerator. Then he grabbed some ninja sandwiches out of his ninja butt somehow, ew.

Munching on them, he wiped his ninja mouth and started dressing up in his ninja clothes.

Naruto noticed the forehead protector he hadn't equipped yet. He smiled.

-:-:-:-

"He he he..." he laughed. "I am totally going to get some sexy ninja vanilla ice cream from girls this time..."

Suddenly, a ninja boy named Tobio walked up behind him. "OHMYEFFINGOD! IT IS YOU, MY LONG LOST BROTHER!"

"What?" Naruto asked. "Get away from me."

"NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU HAVE GONE FOR SO LONG!"

"GAAACK!" the ninja screamed for help as he was suffocated via Tobio hugging him so hard.

"Oi, Naruto, I want to sit with SAAAAS-KAAAYYY-KUUUN so move your ass aside!" Sakura, a ninja girl, declared.

"GET TOBIO OF ME FIRST!"

Sakura kicked both of them away. Then she rushed to Sasuke, a ninja emo. "So, Sasuke, can you go out with me?"

Sasuke remained silent.

"... Sasuke?"

He remained silent, still. In his ninja thoughts... _No one will understand the ninja school I attend to... the ninja pain of always being squealed over by all the ninja girls. The ninja suffering that comes from always being loved by stupid FUCKING NINJA GIRLS... the ninja torture that attaches to me when I sit alone and the other ninja girls want to sit near me... The confusion that comes from wondering why everything is 'ninja' property..._

"Sasuke! If you're going to be a ninja emo, at least censor those ninja swear words!" Naruto screamed, having finally thrown Tobio away. Then he sat on the ninja table and stared at Sasuke, ninja eye-to-ninja eye.

"OHMYGOSH! NARUTO! YOU BETTER NOT STEAL HIS FIRST NINJA KISS OR BECOME A NINJA GAY!" Sakura exclaimed, horrified.

"Relax, Sakura. Why would I ever kiss hi-"

"MY LONG LOST BROTHER!" Tobio, who had become conscious again, exclaimed.

This took on Naruto by surprise, who fell down onto Sasuke and kissed him.

Sakura's mouth dropped open.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

-:-:-:-

**"We are the one who shall save everyone from danger!" Naruto exclaimed.**

_"We shall fight together! (And I shall steal Sasuke's first kiss!)" Sakura yelled._

"I shall kill my brother with my own two hands, alone, since no one will understand my sufferings." Sasuke claimed.

_**"WE ARE THE NINJA BRIGADE OF**_** JUSTICE!"**

Kakashi appeared. "What about me?"

Everyone dropped to the ground, anime-style.

**Naruto the Abridged Manga Parody!**  
Only on FanFiction dot Net!

-:-:-:-

"Okay, everyone! Before I give you your usual spanking lessons..." Iruka began, "I shall pick three people each and place them in a team of three! So..."

The others listened carefully.

"BLablablablabla... blablabla, blablabla! Yadayadayadayada, yada yada blabla! Next, Team 7 has... F*cking Naruto!"

Naruto grumbled something.

"F*cking Sakura!"

He cheered. Sakura grumbled something.

"F*cking Emo!"

Sasuke and Naruto grumbled something, while Sakura cheered.

"But sensei!" Naruto exclaimed. "Why do I have to be with F*cking Emo Whatsisname? He's a ninja idiot while I am the startest ninja person ever! I deserve to be with someone better, who has sexy ninja vanilla ice cream for me!"

"Naruto, you got the lowest score!" Iruka pointed out.

Everyone laughed while he grumbles something again.

When it was ninja lunch time, Sasuke was eating some weird kind of white ninja bun. Naruto, who was hungry, saw this. "Hey, F*cking Emo! Gimme that ninja lunch, I'm hungry!"

"What do I get?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto smiled. "You'll get the permission to give me some sexy ninja vanilla ice cream!"

"F*ck no."

"FIGHT TO THE NINJA DEATH!" the yellow-haired ninja scream, and as Sasuke threw the ninja food away both charged into one another. Ninja kunais clashed, ninja eyes locked, and ninja fists fought against each other.

Finally, 'Sasuke' won and had tied up 'Naruto'.

"So long, SUCKAAH!" 'Sasuke' said, and ran off. When he remembered that he just ran out the ninja window, he fell down all the way.

'Naruto' wiggled, trying to get his way out of the tied ninja rope. _Damn you, Naruto... I shall get you back... Somehow..._

'Sasuke' ran all the way to find Sakura sitting alone. He stared at her, and she suddenly notices him.

"OH MY F*CKING GOD IT'S SAAASSS-KAAAAAAAAY-KUUUN!"

"Hey, Sakura, wanna make out here?" 'Sasuke' suddenly asked.

She blushed madly.

"YES OF COURSE SAS-KAY-KUN!"

They started getting ready to make out, but suddenly 'Sasuke' felt the urge to crap.

"OH SH*T I HAVE TO CRAP SAKURA WAIT HERE!"

"OKAY!"

'Sasuke' ran to a ninja toilet in a random ninja house, and it turned out he was Naruto in disguise. "Damn it, I almost got to make out with Sakura..."

Suddenly, the door busted open.

"You're dead, Naruto." Sasuke said. Then he saw Naruto naked, crapping. "... Nobody will ever understand the pain I feel that comes from seeing a naked idiotic stupid ninja man..."

"SHUT UP F*CKING EMO!" Naruto screamed.

The two then got prepared to fight... with Naruto still naked.

Meanwhile, the Bobage and a weird spiky-haired ninja guy was in Naruto's ninja house.

"Hmm... this milk has already been pissed on once, then expired, and mixed together." the weird ninja dude said.

"Shut up, Kakashi. Help me find some ninja p*rn." the Bobage told him. "... Also, I'll be putting you in charge of Naruto, F*cking Emo and Sakura. Got that?"

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"No one will ever understand the pain I feel... the pain that comes from being an emo, the suffering that comes from wearing these blue clothes that I don't know why I wear... the tortures that come from being inside an abridged fanfiction parody... God I hate myself-"

**Uh... Can you please introduce yourself?**

"Last of all, no one can understand the confusion I feel... the confusion that comes from hearing voices telling me to introduce myself, voices that sound like a wimpy stupid ugly girl..."

_**... F*cking Emo...**_

"Yaaaaay..."


	4. ALIENS NO JUTSU!

This is a fan-based parody. Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release.

* * *

**Naruto the Abridged Manga Parody  
**by **RegisteredAccount**

**Chapter 4:** ALIENS NO JUTSU~!

* * *

**TheOrangeStar802:** Haha...this is darn hilarious :D

Naruto grinned. "Yeah, f*cking reviewer! This is darn hilarious alright!" he exclaimed, showing a ninja thumbs-up to the ninja screen of the ninja computer that the author was showing him, along with Sakura and Sasuke.

Sakura punched him on the head. "Naruto! Be respectful to this ninja reviewer"

"Why? I'll never be so unless he has some sexy ninja vanilla ice cream!" he shouted and pointed to Sakura the middle finger. "NEVAAAH!"

Sasuke walked to the computer and examined it. "Can't you see it Naruto he is our first ninja reviewer so stop being a ninja idiot got that."

"You know," Naruto began, "That sounded so weird when said by a ninja emo..." he commented.

"Yaaaaay..."

"Sasuke, being a ninja emo is NOT a good ninja thing!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Nooooo!"

"SHUT THE NINJA F*CK UP F*CKING EMO!"

Kakashi appeared. "Stop fighting, you ninja guys."

Naruto blinked.

Sakura blinked twice.

"Blink. Blink. Blink." Sasuke said.

Silence... then-

"DEATH MATCH!" Naruto suddenly screamed, all three ninjas leaping to murder Kakashi.

* * *

"WHY THE F*CK ISN'T OUR CHOSEN NINJA SENSEI HERE YET!?" Naruto asked loudly.

Sakura sighed and shook her head. "Naruto, be patient. We just got here."

"JUST GOT HERE!? JUST GOT HERE!? ALL THE OTHER NINJA TEAMS' NINJA SENSEIS ALREADY ARRIVED! WE'RE THE ONLY ONES LEFT HANGING LIKE NINJA IDIOTS!"

Sasuke didn't show any expression. "Technically you're the impatient ninja idiot here we all are sitting quietly and patiently."

"SHUT UP F*CKING EMO!"

"Naruto," Sakura interrupted, "His name is NOT 'F*cking Emo'!"

Suddenly, the ninja door opened.

Naruto screamed, grabbed a ninja blackboard 'eraser' thingy and threw it into that ninja man's face. Turned out he was Kakashi from the previous ninja chapter.

"OHMYF*CKINGGOD! IT'S A WHITE-HAIRED NINJA ALIEN HERE TO CAPTURE US! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Kakashi sighed.

-:-:-:-

**"We are the one who shall save everyone from danger!" Naruto exclaimed.**

_"We shall fight together! (And I shall steal Sasuke's first kiss!)" Sakura yelled._

"I shall kill my brother with my own two hands, alone, since no one will understand my sufferings." Sasuke claimed.

_**"WE ARE THE NINJA BRIGADE OF**** JUSTICE!"**_

Kakashi appeared. "What about me?"

Everyone dropped to the ground, anime-style.

**Naruto the Abridged Manga Parody!**  
Only on FanFiction dot Net!

-:-:-:-

"First off," Kakashi began, "I demand you guys to introduce yourself."

Naruto got pissed off. "YOU'RE THE INTRUDING NINJA ALIEN, _YOU_ INTRODUCE YOURSELF!"

"Well, I'm a NINJA named Kakashi. State yourself, f*cking ninja boy!"

Sakura sighed.

"WHAT ABOUT YOUR F*CKING NINJA HOBBIES AND NINJA LIKES AND NINJA DISLIKES ALIEN SENSEI!"

Kakashi thought for a while. "Well, my hobby is to mess with others, especially screwing them up their ninja *sses. I like ninja yaoi books that has ninja s*x in them, and I REALLY HATE F*CKING NINJA BRATS LIKE YOU!"

Naruto grinned. "My name is MOO-zumaki Naruto, and my goal is to become a f*cking Hokage! So stay away from me, alien sensei!"

"I am Sakura Haruno, and I totally want to f*ck SAAAAS-KAAAY-KUUUN! Even if it means I have to r*pe him... Anyways, NARUTO IS F*CKING ANNOYING!"

Naruto fainted.

"I am Sasuke Uchiha and I desire to become stronger so I can kill my ninja brother for the ninja act of ninja crime he committed against my ninja family... he killed my ninja family so he shall pay with his own ninja life. Both Sakura and Naruto are annoying."

Kakashi smiled, but no one saw it.

"So why are we out here, ninja alien?" Naruto asked.

"We shall do a ninja survival training to see if you ninja guys can qualify as real ninjas, b*tch. Why?"

"STOP BEING SO INSULTING TO US!" the yellow-haired ninja brat screamed.

The next ninja day, at the ninja forest, Kakashi came late. "Hey ninja guys, sorry I'm late."

"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura and Naruto both screamed at him.

"I know, I was busy f*cking my ninja bed." Kakashi admitted. "Anyways, here are two ninja bells. Grab it from me and you pass; the one who doesn't will get tied to a ninja log. I'll also eat ninja food in front of you ninja guys."

"THIS IS F*CKING AMAZAAAH!"

"Shut up, lower level ninja life form." Kakashi told Naruto.

The ninja snapped. "SUCK MY *SS ALIEN SENSEI!" he screamed, running towards his ninja sensei." he screamed as he ran towards Kakashi with a ninja kunai in his ninja hand.

Kakashi disappeared and appeared behind him, grabbing Naruto's ninja kunai and holding the point right at Naruto's ninja neck. "You ninja b*tch! I didn't say start yet and you're trying to kill me already!? SHAME ON YOU!"

"BOOO!" Sakura yelled at Naruto, who cried.

"Yaaaaay..."

"SHUT F*CKING EMO!"

"Nooooo!"

Kakashi smiled. "THREE TWO ONE START!"

Everyone disappeared. Like, literally. _This ninja test will be fun_, Kakashi thought to himself.

* * *

"Hello everyone! I am Sakura Haruno, and I am TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH SAAAS-KAAAAY-KUUUN! I want to make ninja love and ninja babies with him, like TOTALLAY! XD! X3! God, though, I TOTALLY HATE NARUTO! HE'S A NINJA FREAK WHO IS F*CKING OBSESSED WITH SEXY NINJA VANILLA ICE CREAM AND ME! ... Ew. ANYWAYS! ANY OF YOU F*CKING NINJA READERS BETTER CAPTURE SAAAS-KAAAAY-KUUUN FOR ME SO I CAN HAVE SOME NINJA FUN WITH HIM! EVEN IF HE DOESN'T LIKE IT! SQUEAAAAAAAL!"

**Calm down, that was too much information!**

"Shut up, author! God, why do you exist!?"

**What the hell, Sakura! I didn't even do anything to deserve this kind of treatment from you-**

_"STOP EXISTING!"_


End file.
